What happens when the therapy begins stress?

Maybe this post is too personal 😦 and I know it isn´t good for the bussines :(. But I´m not bussines woman, I really hated the classes of economy and marketing :D. What am I? I wanted to be social anthropologist and spanish teacher :D, I was bureaucrat of the czech foreign affairs and now I´m only a mother who has the opportunity to make some money thanks to her hobby…  Im terrible for the bussines :(, my communist education doens´t allow me to be more capitalist 😀 but I´m proud of that :D.

I was planning this post days ago, but today I decided to realize it. I´m ill and sad.  I just discovered terrible notice (I know every day appear more terrible notices, lately the mafia war in Monterrey for example) that in Russia crashed the aeroplane with three czech hockey players  (I don´t understand it, I´m very anti-sport person but I really love hockey so even if I don´t consider our – czech – hockey players “national heros”  – for me is impossible to compare them with Charles IV., Jan Hus, Jan Amos Komensky or the czechoslovac soldiers involved in Operation Anthropoid (WWII), Im sorry 😀 – I´m very sad now :(… )

But, obviously, my depression isn´t caused by the plane crash :(. I´m depressed person by nature 😦 so is easier to affect me with bad notice. I also decided to don´t see news, but is impossible… I think that for the same reason I started to collect dolls and to create fashion and accessories for them. It´s the best therapy for me. BUT when  Plaza Mildendo was born my therapy begins to be very stressful :(.

Something that could be so funny and easy is my nightmare now :(. I always do everything for to have happy clients and I hope we have no client with negative experience with Plaza Mildendo, but I´m really sick for to achieve it :(.  And more because I´m sure that Plaza Mildendo could grow and make real  money without any strategy or capitalist plans :DDD. But is impossible because it doen´t depend on me :(. It´s so frustrating. So frustrating that lately I´m paralyzed :(. I cannot to make anything for my dolls. I would like to return to the beginings of my collector passion, when I was playing and I enjoyed so much my collection. Now I only “used” my dolls as models for the presentations of the Rogelio´s furniture.

And I started to hate it :(. I put all my enthusiasm and time for to create and support Plaza Mildendo but I´m tired! I´m tired of writting appologies about the delay of the others, I´m tired of to be waiting all day or all week. I´m tired of changing shipping dates,  I´m tired of changing my personal and family plans everytime when I´m waiting in vain to recieve the finished orders and I´m really tired of to be alone in this cause.

For the same reason I don´t want to recieve any payment of the clients before I have the order finished at home, but obviously there are clients that decide to change their plans during the fabrication of their funiture and don´t pay after I paid to the caprenter…  So then I have the house full of little furniture :S… OK I will put it to my ebay, but lately ebay decided to limite my account for to “teach me” sell more :SSS… Fortunately the absolute majority of our clients are realy amazing and they understand that our shipping date doesn´t depend on me, but I feel me so terrible everytime I must to reply “not yet but I hope it will be soon”. 

And more fabulouse experience as Plaza Mildendo coordinator… Lately my nightmare is my seller of the boxies, bubbles and polystirene.  I´m waiting one month for the big packet of polystirene and more than one mont for the packets of bubbles – next week… next week… next week! So I must to buy the product with other seller but the packing cost is highter and I don´t charge it to our clients.

I´m really tired. I know any job is perfect, but normally the job = money 😀 but I´m not sure if my entushiasm, time and work cost as little – and be sure that I´m not so demanding :D. I don´t know what to do :(.  Plaza Mildendo is my little dream and now I´m sure that it will not be different! But maybe is the time for to reclaim my dolls for me, to leave the proyect a little and ask for any real bureaucratic job.

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2 responses to “What happens when the therapy begins stress?

  1. Moc ti přeju, aby se situace zlepšila, aby tě přešla deprese a aby tě panenky zase začaly bavit. Držím palce. Všechny.

    • Dikas moc. Zatim se v tom stale placam, a dokonce uz jsem i poslala jeden zivotopis, ale bylo by to na polovicni uvazek, tak uvidime jestli s tim seknu a nebo to pojede dal. Ale strasne bych se chtela vratit k panenkam tak jak jsem je mela driv… proste terapie a pohoda :(.

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